The Modern BDSM Glossary

We've begun building a glossary of terms related to sex positivity, kink, BDSM, social justice, gender, sexuality and healthy relationships.

What you'll find here are our definitions based on widely accepted definitions, along with an update for the roaring 2020s.

You won't find aggressive gendering or heteronormativity here. You also won't find a guide telling you how to do BDSM the One True Way.

We believe BDSM is customizable. There's no one size fits all for relationships, sex, or kink. Here you can explore, share, and learn about the many ways these things are practiced.

We've begun building a glossary of terms related to sex positivity, kink, BDSM, social justice, gender, sexuality and healthy relationships.

What you'll find here are our definitions based on widely accepted definitions, along with an update for the roaring 2020s.

You won't find aggressive gendering or heteronormativity here. You also won't find a guide telling you how to do BDSM the One True Way.

We believe BDSM is customizable. There's no one size fits all for relationships, sex, or kink. Here you can explore, share, and learn about the many ways these things are practiced.

Bottom

the party receiving sensation during a scene or sexual encounter.

Often conflated with Submissive, due to a large overlap and shared history in the BDSM community. However, the two concepts are separate, and bottoming does not necessitate submission.

BDSM, Chastity, Fetish, Kink

Chastity

refers to the practice of orgasm denial, typically lasting for at least one entire scene, but often longer periods of time. Can include devices such as belts or cages for the purpose of physically prohibiting the wearer from achieving arousal and/or orgasm.

Vanilla

conventional sexual behavior, relationship styles, or personal preferences; lacking in BDSM, kink, or fetishism.

BDSM, Fetish, Kink, Worship

Worship

a practice wherein one or more partner(s) shows reverence and devotion to their partner(s) through incorporating various ritualistic practices into their scenes or general interactions.

BDSM, Dom Voice, Dominant

Dom Voice

a specific tone of voice that can be adopted by a dominant either during play or at any time that they want to reinforce their authority over their submissive(s)

BDSM, Safe Sane Consensual, SSC

Safe, Sane, Consensual (SSC)

a philosophy encouraging safe kink activities and warning against potentially dangerous kink activities.

Fluid Bonding

when one or more persons consent to exchange or be exposed to bodily fluids.

BDSM, Old Guard

Old Guard

refers to BDSM communities or individuals with traditional sensibilities who emphasize protocols and clear cut etiquette and hierarchies. May fall into One True Wayism and/or romanticize the history and origins of the BDSM community.

Consent

The agreement between two parties to engage in an activity. In any scene or sexual encounter, establishing the enthusiasm of everyone involved is required.