The Modern BDSM Glossary

We've begun building a glossary of terms related to sex positivity, kink, BDSM, social justice, gender, sexuality and healthy relationships.

What you'll find here are our definitions based on widely accepted definitions, along with an update for the roaring 2020s.

You won't find aggressive gendering or heteronormativity here. You also won't find a guide telling you how to do BDSM the One True Way.

We believe BDSM is customizable. There's no one size fits all for relationships, sex, or kink. Here you can explore, share, and learn about the many ways these things are practiced.

We've begun building a glossary of terms related to sex positivity, kink, BDSM, social justice, gender, sexuality and healthy relationships.

What you'll find here are our definitions based on widely accepted definitions, along with an update for the roaring 2020s.

You won't find aggressive gendering or heteronormativity here. You also won't find a guide telling you how to do BDSM the One True Way.

We believe BDSM is customizable. There's no one size fits all for relationships, sex, or kink. Here you can explore, share, and learn about the many ways these things are practiced.

BDSM, Bondage, Shibari

Shibari

a Japanese word which translates as “to tie (decoratively)”, commonly used internationally to describe the Japanese art of rope bondage involving intricate woven patterns and complex knots. The practice is known in Japan as “Kinbaku” which translates as “tight binding.”

BDSM, Figging

Figging

the practice of using ginger root for anal play; often involves carving a ginger root into an implement that can be used for anal insertion. This gradually creates a warning and then burning sensation.

BDSM, Dungeon

Dungeon

a dedicated space for BDSM and kink scenes, sometimes furnished with equipment to facilitate play. Can be any room or area and does not need to be subterranean.

BDSM, One True Wayism

One True Wayism

the mistaken belief that there is only one “correct” way to practice BDSM and kink.

BDSM, Collar

Collar

a necklace, piece of jewelry, or choker that is usually worn around the neck and is symbolic of the wearer’s relationship with BDSM. Frequently denotes ownership. May be given from one partner to another to represent meaning in their dynamic / relationship, or given to one’s self. Can be made of leather, various metals, or other materials.

BDSM, Munch

Munch

A public gathering in a restaurant or bar for kinky people to make new connections with locals, and be open about their kink life in a setting that does not involve any sort of play.

BDSM, Protocol

Protocol

refers to rules and behaviors that establish and enforce a hierarchy between partners in a dynamic. For example, a submissive may be unable to sit in certain areas and must refer to their partner by a title such as “Your Grace,” “Sir,” “Mistress,” or other honorific.