Welcome to our glossary! We believe BDSM is customizable. There's no one size fits all for relationships, sex, or kink. Here you can explore, share, and learn about the many ways these things are practiced.

Welcome to our glossary! We believe BDSM is customizable. There's no one size fits all for relationships, sex, or kink. Here you can explore, share, and learn about the many ways these things are practiced.

Our Definition

refers to a person’s pattern of experiencing attraction, usually sexual or romantic. Can specify the gender(s) one is attracted to, or the circumstances and degrees to which one experiences attraction.

Common Practices

Everyone is different! You'll see this repeated throughout our website and glossary. Common practices pertaining to orientation include, but certainly aren't limited to:
  • Using terms to self identify based on how they feel to you, on a personal level. 
  • Using more general/broad language when speaking about one’s orientation to strangers while preferring more specific and descriptive language in intimate company. 
  • Finding meaning in being able to accurately label your lived experiences.
  • Rejecting some or in some cases all labels regarding orientation.

Bobby prefers the split attraction model when discussing orientation, identifying as asexual and panromantic

Jill likes to keep it simple if someone asks her orientation, preferring to leave it as “I’m queer” 

When Pierre talks about his orientation, he includes qualifiers describing the degree to which he experiences attraction rather than focusing only on who he is attracted to. The label “grey aro-ace” fits him best. 

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